


luminescence

by inamamagic



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 04:41:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18439244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inamamagic/pseuds/inamamagic
Summary: Jenny wants to be part of Blair's world





	luminescence

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt I should've filled LAST YEAR, but life happened and now I'm here. Prompt by clockwork_hart1 on LJ: 
> 
> clockwork_hart1 [July 3 2018, 16:49:09 UTC]
> 
> gg, blair/serena or blair/jenny or blair/anyone tbh
> 
> and to you I will always be see-through, your light slipping through the crystal chandelier of me
> 
> (link here https://clockwork-hart1.livejournal.com/33943.html)

One of the gospel truths of Constance Billard School for Girls is that Jenny Humphrey is invisible.

Nobody notices nobody Jenny Humphrey from Brooklyn. The Upper East Side gives light to the girls that belong there, and it is this light that draws others close to them. Jenny was given no such light at birth, and no such luck either.

She flits to the lights like the rest of them do. The brightest of all is Blair, drawing girls near with a flick of her brown hair, rich mahogany the likes of which Jenny has only seen on old bookshelves that hold more knowledge than she can fathom. Blair’s waves hold secrets of a world that Jenny can only dream of entering.

She does enter in her dreams (waking or sleeping, there is no difference). In her dreams, it is Jenny that shines, it is Jenny that is the light and Blair, the brown moth flittering close, pulled by a change it cannot control.

Jenny changes when she is at Constance. She is never quite herself, she is only half herself, carrying her body to and from classes, doodling patterns on the margins of her papers, only flourishing in art class where she is every teacher’s dream. 

_RISD_ , they say in whispers, _or Columbia, or SAIC_ \- but Jenny has her mind set on other pursuits that are equally off of her father’s payscale.

In her spare time, Blair blossoms under her pencil, but not too bright lest she actually comes to life. Mahogany shine dulled to greyscale graphite, her rosebud pout flattened into smooth strokes, but it is the eyes that hold the life, the light that Jenny so dearly wants Blair to point at her.

Perhaps she should have exercised some caution, for one day, Blair does look at her, with eyes that clearly say, _you_ , _I want you_. 

Jenny is starstruck, fumbling and foolish, but Blair seems to not mind this to much for all she does is slip her a key with an address to a hotel room.

*****

There is wine, ruby red and rich and smoother than anything Jenny might’ve ever imagined (but perhaps not as smooth as Blair, she thinks, as Blair slips against her in her silk robe and asks her gently if she wants to try out her new lavender body butter).

It smells like violets, the same kind that Blair has pressed between the sheets of her notebook that Jenny peeks at when she has a second alone. Empty pages, nothing there save for three x’s and a cursive _S_ in a handwriting that’s threateningly unfamiliar.

Blair scoops up a creamy fingerful of body butter and slides it over Jenny’s shoulders, her fingers slipping over each ridge of her spine, down, down, down, rubbing circles first, then little zig zags like the seams that Jenny has to sew whenever her serger isn’t working. 

Blair’s fingers pull her together, stitching the little parts of her that have been floating around looking for an island, and she leans in and falls into her kiss, her soft marshmallow lips full and beautiful.

Her wish granted, Jenny sighs, violet infused bodies moving together, like they were predestined to come together, like Jenny dreamt they would come together —

She can only hope they can stay together, but she cannot speak it for Blair holds her voice in her fist and swallows it whole.

*****

Everybody sees Jenny Humphrey now. 

She is in Blair Waldorf’s light and she is seen.

She did not know that she could shine so golden, that she could shimmer so prettily and everyone would smile and welcome her to their world without question. There’s a place for her next to Blair at every table and she _fits_ , like she was born there, like she’d come into the world and slotted neatly into the niche with her name and that’s where she’s stayed ever since.

Jenny almost forgets what it’s like to struggle, what it was like to grind and pound against the stone walls of the Upper East Side, screaming to be let in, crying to belong. Blair’s her key now, her gorgeous rosebud key that smiles secretly and kisses her behind curtains and closed doors.

All of Blair’s girls wear charm bracelets with their headbands but only Jenny has a golden key hanging from the chain around her wrist with a ‘B’ engraved on it. Only Jenny can brighten Blair’s shine, only Jenny can understand the most beautiful parts of her person; her eyes, her hands, her fingertips when they rest heavy on Jenny’s thighs in dark corners and other secret hideaways.

Blair only has Jenny in secret but whenever she does, their tiny nooks become gilded halls lined with light and lush happiness like Jenny’s never felt before. It doesn’t matter that she’s Blair Waldorf’s little secret, because Blair doesn’t let anybody else step over her. It doesn’t matter that no one knows that Jenny knows the way Blair’s lips taste after a shared frozen yoghurt, because everyone knows that Jenny Humphrey is Blair Waldorf’s new best friend. That’s all that matters to anyone anyway.

It’s all that matters - at least until the old best friend comes fluttering back and slots herself back into the niche that she’d abandoned - popping Jenny right off.

*****

Serena’s light is brighter than Blair and she overshadows them all. 

Blair dims and Jenny along with her, and there’s nothing that she can do to bring it back. Jenny can’t see why Blair can’t see how she can glow just the same as Serena, and brighter still, but Blair crushes her own heart between her fists and spits Jenny out with her own blood.

Serena Van der Woodsen takes up space, and Jenny realises too late that this was the only reason she had space to enter their world in the first place. That when Serena was gone, she finally let everyone else _breathe_. That by leaving, she left behind a gaping yawn of a chasm that everyone scrambled to fill by themselves.

Jenny, it transpires, had been caught in the scramble and swept with the wave.

Blair barely looks at her anymore. All she sees is Serena, but she sees her with such pain that Jenny aches to fix it, to kiss it better and hold her and tell her that she’s the brightest star in her universe. 

But Blair doesn’t believe that. She shuts Jenny out and slams the door in her face. The spotlights dim with a rusty clang, and the Upper East Side is closed to Jenny Humphrey once again.

She fiddles with the key on her charm bracelet and wonders about Blair’s big brown eyes and they way her lips whispered her name between kisses. She wonders why Blair didn’t ask for it back - it wasn’t specially engraved, it was Blair’s own key charm from her own bracelet.

She wonders when Blair stares at her for too long in the hallway one afternoon whether she still thinks of her.

She doesn’t take the key off her bracelet, but she keeps the bracelet hidden safe in her nightstand at home.

She waits for Blair to come back.


End file.
